Say NO to yourself…Sometimes

How many women out there are subconscious about their weight? I’m willing to bet almost all. Even the skinniest of skinny women are still trying these crazy south beach diets that promise a “flat belly”. I, personally, understand why women think this. I understand the need to be sexy and have a flat belly.

What most women don’t understand is they do have the ability inside themselves to make a change, and any woman can be what/who she wants to be. Take me for example. I gave up most carbs…bread, pasta, pizza, rice. I’m also Italian. I know, the struggle. Every day my mom makes pasta, fresh garlic bread, raviolis, homemade pizza. You know what I say? No thanks. Not because my whole diet would be off if I had ONE cheat day. I say no because I want to prove to myself that my mind IS strong enough to say no. My mind WON’T listen to my body’s cravings. I won’t give in. When I set my mind to something, I WILL accomplish that goal. Saying no to temptation shouldn’t drag you down and make you cranky, it should make you feel even better, because you’re proving to yourself that are serious about your goal.

I have a boyfriend whose trying to gain weight. He has a natural high metabolism, and has not an ounce of fat on him. I swear, he came out of the womb with a six-pack. It’s just not fair. I have been fighting for years to have that kind of a body, and he can eat fast food every day, and still maintain an amazing figure. It IS hard being around him and having him eat burgers, fries, pizza, calzones, and all the good stuff. Of course once in a while I will have a cheat day on a special occasion, or a bite of his burger; I mean we have to live, don’t we? The feeling of saying no when he asks if I want anything doesn’t break me down anymore, it inspires me. It shows me that we have two different goals in the end; in fact, complete opposite. Although I have my weak days, I won’t give in and mold to his way of life. I have my own.

We can’t get dragged into the drama or bad habits that are occuring all around us on a daily basis. We need to stay strong and keep our own goals in mind when we see someone doing or eating something we’re jealous of. You have a craving for a burger? Get over it. That’s your mind, not your body. Because trust  me, that’s probably the last thing your body wants. If you decide to cave, then fine! Don’t have a bun with the burger…crush up the burger to ground meat, add a little lettuce, salsa, corn…make it into a taco salad! Kinda.

Your desire to change and become a healthier woman comes from within for a reason. Don’t let the external environment affect your internal morals and drive.


Do WE expect too much?

Is he the right person for me? Are we soulmates? Can we live a happily married life together one day? Is there only one right person for each of us? Am I too tough on him? Do I expect too much? Is he not sensitive enough? Am I wrong to ask him to show he cares more? Is he wrong to get mad at me for wanting more attention, when he already gives me so much? Does he give me enough attention? Am I just needy? Aren’t you supposed to be a bit needy in a relationship? Who doesn’t love attention from their significant other?

I honestly don’t think I will ever have the answer to any of these questions. There will never be a common ground. An equilibrium. A truce. I am beginning to accept that. As much as I am annoyed about it, I am beginning to accept that no two people are the same. They will not want the same things as you. They will not want the attention you want. They may not even understand why we need so much.

We are all just different. Our wants, needs, hopes, dreams. They’re all diverse in their own inseparable ways. This causes fights between us. I want one thing, he wants the other. I want to be shown more attention, he doesn’t see why I’m not happy with what I’m getting. I want a random kiss here and there, he asks me why I don’t just kiss him. Why I want him to make every move. Why I get mad when he doesn’t kiss me randomly, pick me up and swing me around in a caressing hug, grasp my hand on that cold winter night. I’ve finally figured out the answer. It was staring me right in the face.

He’s just not that person. I can’t get mad at him for not being that person. He is not Mr.PDA always wanting to hold my hand, he is not the type to surprise me with little kisses here and there, and he’s just not the Mr. Romantic I’ve seen in the movies. I realized that I was pressuring him to be someone else; someone that I desperately want him to be.

Don’t get me wrong…I really want and almost want to fight with him when I don’t get the emotions and love I listed above. But to him, he has no idea I’m even expecting it. The love I know is the love in the movies, pure bliss, romance and happiness. That is what I grew up watching, and what I went through my teenage and early 20’s searching for.

I’m not saying to expect less, or settle by any means. I would never settle with a man again. I did it once, and it was miserable, boring, and dead. But sometimes you need to realize that maybe it’s not him that’s the problem. It may be you. It may be your expectations set so unbelievably high. You want him to be that amazing man you saw in The Notebook. But he isn’t Noah, is he? He may not hold your hand because he doesn’t think of it, not because he doesn’t love you.  He may not randomly kiss you because he just doesn’t think that same way, not because he isn’t attracted to you. He may not want to see you tonight because he is tired and wants his alone time, not because he doesn’t love you anymore.

I know I personally need to stop creating a problem out of everything that doesn’t go my way. I just take everything so dramatically. I automatically think the WORST in every situation. It’s because of my past. Cheated, lied, emotionally abused. I need to stop taking everything so seriously and just live life and enjoy it. We have been together for almost two years; he deserves a little more trust, and understanding than I give him now.

Disrespect beyond Belief

Hey guys, sorry it’s been a while. But life has gotten in the way of my love of writing. It won’t happen again. But the experience I had this morning…well…it seriously made me want to write to all of you for some support, and serenity.

So I have a kitten. An adorable, pain in my ass, energetic, cuddly 3 month old kitten. I got her when she was only 8 weeks old, and since that day, she has been the love of my life. I spoil her. I buy her everything on earth, and take her to the Petco Clinics to make sure she had her 8, 12, 16 week shots, along with her rabies [when she was old enough], dewormer, and even a fecal test. Granted, in the 3 weeks of shots I had gotten her earlier, involved medicine so she wouldn’t get sick, and so she would be the healthiest kitten ever. So let me get to my point.

The kitten, Dahlia, needed to get spayed. She is 3 months, and she is beginning to get nuts. When I say nuts, I mean like a pitbull on steroids chasing a live animal. NUTS! I discovered as part of the Merrimack River Feline Rescue Society, there is a spaying clinic that occurs every few weeks for low cost. I booked an appointment and my mind was made up; I don’t want to bring any unneeded and stray kittens into this world, so I will do the right thing, and get mine spayed. [It breaks my heart to see kittens/cats outside, cold, alone, and starving] I just dropped her off at what they call the “Cat Mobile”. It looked sketchy but I know better than to judge something off of appearance, and they are sponsored by a rescue league, so I took my chances.

There was a huge line of people. I thought this was JUST supposed to be Dahlia’s appointment, but I guess not. There were probably 20 cats in line. I waited outside, in the snow with Dahlia while they took the few people in front of me and got them checked in. Finally, they got to me, and I almost wish they hadn’t. I handed her all Dahlia’s vet records, and she smirked at me with this bitch face saying…”Have you ever taken your kitten to a real vet?” I said “Yes, here are the papers. I have been taking her to the staffed Vetco clinics, and they have been great! I have gotten her all her shots, rabies, etc.” She then personally insulted me by saying I don’t take care of my cat at all, because I haven’t brought her to a real vet. What the fuck is a real vet? The vets at the clinic are CERTIFIED PHD VETERINARIANS. They are fucking doctors.

She then told me that Dahlia would leave with fleas. Why? She didn’t come with fleas, did she? Nope. She would leave with them because of the amount of kittens that would be undergoing surgery, and also, she forgot to mention, that she didn’t give a SHIT about the healthy of my cat, or anyone else’s. She then told me it would be an additional charge for my cat to get the flea medication, so I said skip it, I’ll buy it on my own and do it when I pick her up. She gave me a fouler look than the damn kitten had when I dropped her off into the arms of this bitch.

She then told me I had to be there at 3pm to pick up; when the website said 4 pm, & the sheets she gave me through email prior to the surgery said the same thing. It’s fine, I’ll be there at 3, and I didn’t raise any question to it. But she went on saying that at 3:01 the van leaves, goes back to Salisbury, they call the cops, and charge you an additional $60 to pick up your kitten. Are you kidding me? How crass and uncaring can this program be that they let their staff talk to pet owners and clients like that? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She then tossed my cats crate under the van…in the snow…in the cold…to wait for its turn.

I am truly fucking disgusted. Anyone and everyone who hates what just happened to me, please go write a nasty review on their page… I know I just have. I would never intentionally put the love of my life into danger, but I felt like I was there. And once I checked her in, I paid my $120 CASH [sketchy as well, I know], she was out of my sight. This is the link below:

I shouldn’t be sitting her at work, terrified if my baby will be okay. I should be calm knowing she’s in great hands. That is the farthest thing from what I feel right now. From one loving cat owner, to the next; please please please pay the fee to go to an actual vet, it’s worth it.

Race is NOT a choice. So Don’t Judge it.

I don’t understand what race has to do with any argument. I really don’t. Why, every time my mother gets mad at me-for something stupid I might add-does she bring up the fact that I have a Brazilian boyfriend. I think she does it because she knows that it will bother me, and yes, she’s right. Not the fact that she’s making fun of MY love, but the fact that she constantly resorts to throwing races up in my face. This has nothing to do with my current boyfriend, because in fact she’s done this many times before.

I used to date a man that was Cape Verdean, and then before I dated a guy who lives in Wellesley-an extremely rich town in Massachusetts- but came from Louisiana, oh, he was black of course. My first boyfriend ever, was white, but he was adopted from Lithuania. Clearly I am just attracted to different looking guys. None of them were ugly, to me. They all had certain things that attracted me to them in their own ways. Either coming up from nothing, and making a great life for themselves in America, their personality, their goofiness, or their sincerity. I didn’t even know when I began dating them, where these boys were from, but regardless of that, every time I would get in a fight with my parents, their race, origin, ethnicity would get thrown into it. For no reason.

I don’t even try to confront my mother, because to be honest with you, it’s not worth it. She’s my absolute best friend, hilarious, and someone that I admire greatly in a professional and personal sense. Just don’t make her mad. She is not afriad to say anything, and everything, to personally ignite the fire inside of you and evoke a response, when she’s mad.

She did that today. I came home from the gym, and she asked if I threw my laundry in the drier. I said yes-laughing, clearly joking, and even said that I was joking- and my baby kitten ran across her dining room table chasing the tablecloth. Her exact words were, “Now I’m stuck with that fucking kitten, the only reason I let you get that kitten is because I thought you were going to break up with your Brazilian boyfriend. Now I’m stuck with a Brazilian, and a crazy kitten.” Ok, I got you there. My boyfriend and I were in a large, large, large fight, but that was the only time we had ever been in a fight like that. We took our time apart, and I said on Saturday night I am going out to dinner with him to see if we can “fix things”. I got a kitten on that Friday, and everyone loved her, and I know for a fact she did as well. She has no anger towards the kitten, the only anger she has is that I’m not dating some rich, blond haired, blue eyed, American man with a large amount of wealth in his family.

Is it wrong that I don’t go searching for a doctor, surgeon, dentist, genius when I’m single? Instead I live my life, and I found the man I believe I will marry one day. We have been together for almost 2 years now, and I don’t see myself being with anyone else. I am happy with how things are going, and I am happy with what we’ve been through, and how we’ve came out stronger and closer than ever.

I just wish my mother saw that. I wish she didn’t see some Brazilian standing in her house. A man that will never be good enough for her daughter, no matter what he does to make up for that awful night. A man that I have chosen to forgive, A man that I see myself having a family and a future with. His race is what turns her away from him. Yet I don’t see why. Race is just a label. It’s where you are from. No one has the ability to change their race, unless they pull a Michael Jackson. I don’t discourage people due to their race, upbringing, or anything they had no control over. Maybe it’s how I personally am, but for now I will shut my mouth, let her try to ignite the fire, take a deep breath, and excuse myself from the situation.

Day by Day

Everywhere I go, they stare. When I talk, they look. They don’t listen, they look. When I go out at night, they whisper among themselves. Silly fools, I already know what you’re saying. I will end the cliff hanger here. I am talking about my height. I am a woman, and I am 6’1. Shocker, right?

See, I don’t think so. But they do. They who don’t even know me, but judge me instantaneously. They who call me names that are only comical to themselves. They who used to kick me out of their lunch table, because I wasn’t the same as everyone else.

I used to go through hell for something I couldn’t change. I used to hate myself for it. I could never date a boy in high school because they were shorter than me. And if I did, I would hear shit for it. I was called “Man…” accompanied by my name. I would be asked “How’s the weather up there?” I would be told “You have to sit in the back so we can see”. I would be laughed at. I would be judged, hated, and humiliated. All because of something as stupid as my height. Something I had no control over.

I don’t understand why others would reject me so coldly just because I stood a few inches taller than them. My family told me they were jealous of me. My friends told me they were just stupid. What did I tell myself? I told myself to shrink, I begged God to make me shorter, I became depressed and anxious for all the hate I received. That anxiety has stuck with me up until now.

And then one day everything changed. I heard that same shit head ask me, “How’s the weather up there?” and for once I had something to say back. My mouth blurted it out. “Almost as shitty as the weather down there.” They went silent. What had I just done. Had I given them reason to hate me more. 

No. Actually they shut their mouths and walked away.

It felt good to stand up for myself, and I wish I had done it sooner. It sucked being an outcast for most of my life, but it taught me that you can’t be upset about something you can’t change. You can lose weight, you can get a nose job, you can buy new shoes, but you can’t change your height; so why not be damn proud of it.

I still go through hell to this day about it. And to be honest I don’t really care that much anymore. They can all go to hell. But one things for sure…I always have a smart comeback ready for when they decide to mess with me. I am proud of my height, and it’s going to take much more than one lonely, jealous little boy to ruin that.


My Guardian Angel on Earth

My guardian angel on earth.

She walks by me. I don’t see her. She walks by me again. I see someone else in her shadow. I blink my eyes. Telling myself this can’t be the truth; I must be dreaming. A dream of someone you yearn to see once more after their passing, a dream that you know may never be fulfilled. It can’t be her, can it? She’s been gone for at least three years, hasn’t she? My mind is antagonizing me.

I’ve been going back and forth in my head wondering what I had been seeing. I still can’t explain it. Why, whenever this little Chinese spindle haired woman comes into my office, do I see a very different looking woman. How can these two so diverse women look the same in my eyes? I see my grandmother. How can there be that many similarities between two women so distinctly unique in their own ways.

Everything my little Chinese friend does reminds me of my tall, Italian grandmother. When I speak to her, for some reason my ears hear someone else’s voice. Someone I have been dying of hearing. A voice I have heard in my head, in my imagination. Someone I thought I would never see again. When we talk, her face moves the same way I expect it to, when she smirks at me, her eyebrows raise just like I knew they would, when she sings…oh when she sings…she sings Frank Sinatra. How. How did she know that was my grandmothers favorite singer? And the exact song she chose…How did she know to sing that song? The song I always heard my grandmother sing, with her ear lightly pressed up to the radio sitting on her kitchen table, barely able to see infront of her, but the music. The music kept her alive. More alive than any of us. I don’t know how someone so different, can be someone so familiar.

Tears almost fall from my eyes when she makes those faces at me, the faces my grandmother made at me. I probably sound drunk, or in denial, but no. I know what I see, and I know this is a sign. Although I know it is not possible that my grandmother could be inside of this sweet, little Chinese woman, I know this is something special sitting right in front of me for a reason. She truly is something special. My grandmother will always be my guardian angel looking down on me, and whether she sent this woman my way, or I found her by gods grace, I now have a second guardian angel, just an arms-reach away when I need her.

Is your boyfriend a Player?

Hello Ladies, I am sorry for the context of this blog post, as it may make you realize your once so perfect boyfriend is a total loser. As you will learn from me in a few minutes, I have no respect for cheaters. In my point of view, once a cheater; always a cheater. There is no need for cheating; break up first. If you don’t like someone and aren’t attracted to them, dump them, don’t lead them on and become sexually involved in someone else. That’s just sneaky and disrespectful. End of story.

First, you need to understand there are two types of cheaters, but I will focus on the ones who truly irk my soul deep down. The ones that bother me are the men that lie, deceive, and manipulate women into thinking they’re the only ones for them, but have a whole other life on the side with some bimbo.Here are some tips to help you figure out if you’re man is a cheating man.

First Sign: His normal, everyday, routine behavior will change. He will start doing things differently, in different orders, and cut out many things from his normal routine he has stuck so solemnly by in your relationship. Lets face it, when we’re in a relationship with someone for months, we get to know them inside and out. If you see this happening, question it…calmly and respectfully…they won’t admit anything if you freak out.

Second Sign: You will fight…much, much, more…for no reason. He will probably be looking for ways to get out of the house and go see his mistress, and will start a fight with you over absolutely nothing. It could also be his conscious taking a toll on him with the built up guilt, but probably not, since he’s a pig. He will look for any excuse to get out of the house. He will actually go get you the gallon of milk you’ve been asking him to get, without question.

Third Sign: Change of passcode on phone/not as open about you using his phone. If your man never had a passcode on his phone, and randomly one day he adds one and doesn’t tell you the passcode…he’s definitely hiding something. If you can’t use his phone when yours dies, and he puts up a fight about it, then there’s definitely something going on. A man hiding nothing, would leave his phone unlocked, and let his girl use it whenever, and wherever she needs it.

Fourth Sign: They will become sexier. Yes, they will start working out more, caring more about their appearance, and not being as needy around you for attention. He will start hitting the gym again randomly, he will start shaving daily and wearing a new cologne, and he will look better leaving the house without you, than with you. Lets face it. When looking for a partner we are clean, shaved, and dressed well, and not to mention smelling delicious. If he’s not doing this for you…then whose he doing it for?

Fifth and most important sign: He will either become a vacant sexual partner, or start suggesting to do things you two never did before. He will try to test out if your relationship is better than his mistresses, or he will already have his mind made up that she satisfies his every need. He will either totally lose his sex drive and never come onto you, or he will try to ask you to do things that he does with her. Gross. I know. But this is how men think. If you aren’t satisfying his needs, then some men are sneaky enough to look for someone who can, rather than having a mature conversation about it.

Regardless of what happens, and which of these signs you see in a relationship, you will know when your partner is cheating, you are just too scared to admit the truth. Don’t let someone walk all over you, relationships are supposed to bring out the best in you, not the worst. You can find someone who will be completely in love with you and only you, but first you need to let go of this loser.


Going through a Breakup? Let me help.

We’ve almost all been through it. That dreadful day.  It’s either you pulling the trigger, or the asshole whose about to break your heart. But one things for sure, someone is going to be leaving hurt, alone, and questioning their existence. There are a few simple ways to get yourself over a breakup, but many women aren’t ready to take these steps. I have probably been through the most awful breakups, and sat on my couch for days, upset, depressed, questioning if I’ll ever get married, if I’ll ever have children. Why do we do that to ourselves?! We’re just adding unneeded pressure on ourselves, when we should take the time to reflect and get ready for our next rendezvous. Regardless of if you take the time to listen to me, just let these steps sit in your mind for a bit.

Step One: Let yourself be upset. Nothing is worse than trying to be strong at home, when everyone can see you mourning inside. If you feel like you want to stay in bed and watch Netflix all day, then do it. If you want to order Chinese food, and have wine with your Pit bull snuggled up on the couch, then do it. You need to give yourself the proper time to reflect on what happened, and recover. I give myself 3 days. 3 days to be lazy, sad, alone, and deep in thought. Within those three days I typically cry, cry some more, cry a little more, and then cry a lot more until there’s nothing left. After those 3 days I tell myself I’m not going to let myself cry over that loser anymore, and I’m going to get back into my normal life. Do it. I dare you. It WORKS.

Step Two: Get your butt in the gym. Whether you have a membership already, or you need to buy one, go to the gym. I recommend getting on the treadmill and sprinting a mile as fast as you can, with all the anger from your recent ex built up in your mind. Yes, you may cry, and yes it is OK. I have been sprinting and crying my eyes out at the same time, but you know what? Getting those endorphin’s going seriously helps you feel happier, and you WILL forget about his face for a while. The gym is also a place to make new friends, and surround yourself with healthy minded people, which is exactly what you need. No one there will be speaking about drama or relationships, they will all be encouraging one another, and that is what you need at this sensitive and emotional time. You need to invest your time in something healthy, and emotionally healing, and let me tell you… the gym is just that. Who knows, maybe even a sexy Channing Tatum will be lifting weights right next to you.

Step Three: Socialize yourself again. Shit, who cares what you do, just do SOMETHING. Walk into your town library, go to the gym, go to the local pizza place, take yourself out to lunch, call a friend you haven’t seen in forever, go on a walk downtown and then treat yourself to a coffee. Notice that all the places I mentioned have other people in them, which is what you need. Once the tears stop, that’s when you will start looking for something else to fill your time, and instead of just looking for the next Mr. Wrong, I mean right, you should spend the time doing things that make you happy, and getting to know yourself all over again, because believe it or not, you are a new person.

Step Four: You have to realize that it’s OK to be by yourself, and not have a man in your life. I swear, women learn from a young age from these princess movies that we need a man to take care of us, and to make us happy. We want fairy tales, and a land made out of peaches and cream. Sorry ladies, but stop expecting that, because there are not many men out there that are going to be your Prince Charming. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to accept less, or settle, I’m telling you strictly that you need to stop wanting a man to take care of you and make you happy. You need to take care of yourself, and make yourself happy. This is all about becoming a stronger independent woman, and a stronger YOU. You deserve it.

Step Five: Don’t jump to your ex, or best guy friend, just because it’s comforting. Ladies, we’ve all done it. We get dumped, and then we walk a few steps backwards to the previous jerk that left you. It’s stupid, and please don’t move backward. There’s a reason you two ended, and there’s no reason to look back. Don’t kiss someone just because you miss the sex, or cuddle someone just because your lonely, or date someone just because you’re bored. This is all just a waste of time, and not letting yourself be available for a new opportunity to come your way. Just because something feels comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s right. It does feel good to have someone give you a big hug after you feel no one loves you, but do you need to kiss them after that? No. Do you need to sleep with them? No. Do you need to become all obsessed with them next to get you past your last lover? No. You just need to keep walking forward. And never look back.

You are an independent woman. You do deserve the best. You will receive the best once you open yourself up to it. You can be alone, you can try new things, and you can meet new people. Always remember that with loss, comes sadness, and that’s okay. It’s good to feel emotions, because if you didn’t you’d be a sociopath, and that’s a story for a whole different blog post. Take your time alone to think about what happened, and then think of new things to revolve your mind around; healthy things, and happy things.

I hope this blog post has helped you, because these are the steps I follow when I go through a traumatic event, and feel I’ll never come out of it.



Winter Wonderland

The first snowfall of the winter has finally arrived. It is slight, but aids in a feeling of annoyance. All who complained that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were too hot, may now feel winter’s cold, unforgiving wrath. She did it for you. She gave you a gift of beautiful weather, and a green Christmas, and you give her complaints. Please have mercy on us, Winter Woman, and don’t shun us like last year with feet on feet of heavy snow.

Us humans, never seem to be happy with anything. We complain when it’s humid, yet all winter we ask for heat. We complain when it’s snowy and slushy, yet when summer comes, it’s unbearable.

What does it take to make us happy? Are we ever truly happy? Do we just want what we can’t have? Can we ever sincerely BE happy?

Last year the Winter Woman was unforgiving, relentless, strong. She didn’t give up pouring snow over our heads until she could no longer control the rest of the universe, and the earth forced to tilt once again for a new season. She showed us that we need to stop complaining with every little thing that doesn’t go our way. To teach us, she had no choice, but to show us her wrath. To bury us deep in snow.

We need to appreciate what we have, not complain about what we don’t have. Some wish and yearn to see snow once in their life, and we complain that we see it for a few months. We need to be more appreciative of what we have, living in this beautiful country, while it still exists.

Mind = Body

I am here to share some secrets with you from personal experience. They are very simple, yet all they require is your attention and faith. Give them a try with me… it’s better than how you’re feeling right now, I can guarantee that. It’s so hard for others to believe that our mind correlates directly to our body, but if you have ever analyzed your thinking about scenarios, it’s true. I will share with you my two motto’s that I live by… no we’re not talking any voodoo shit, we’re talking down to earth, girl with anxiety, trying to overcome her emotions and think rationally. See them below.
“Your mind IS your body”
“What we think, we become”
Your thoughts are very trainable. They are like your body. If you run 2 miles everyday, your body will adapt and become used to the feeling. Your mind is the same way. You just have to train your mind, like you train your body. The first way we train our mind is to think positively about things happening in life. Not EVERYTHING has to be BAD. Even something bad may lead to good. Just give it a try, and think about it how I think about it.
Say you get broken up with by your boyfriend. He lets you walk away, and doesn’t chase you. The next day you are upset and walking into Starbucks…you’ll do anything to stop the tears. The man behind the counter thinks you’re beautiful and asks for your number. All of a sudden that selfish and uncaring man from yesterday slips from your mind.
It’s not a coincidence. It’s true what they say. “When one door closes, another one opens.” I am not simply making up this scenario in my head… I am actually telling this from a real life experience I have been through. The lesson here is to not wonder “why didn’t it work out?” “Why doesn’t he love me?” Instead you should think: “well atleast I saw his true colors now before a ring was on my finger.” “Now I can actually find a man who isn’t going to walk away when the relationship gets hard.”
It’s ALL about how you THINK about the SITUATION. Think pessimistic, you will have a negative day. Think with optimism, good things will keep coming your way.